It’s refreshing for Destan to be interested. He hadn’t really talked to anyone about how his vampirism worked, even if he’d wanted too. But for Destan to ask question, it makes him feel interesting to him. It makes him smile as he readjusts on his chest, coming to lean his forearms on the table. He takes another sip of the wine and a bite of food.
"Turn it off? Hmm.. Kind of." He lingers there. "If our minds are unprotected, which we learn in time and experimentation, they are easily pried into. But we can put up walls that make it harder for others to see our inner thoughts and feelings. We can project more then thoughts to each other though. Images and words and sensations too. It just takes patience to learn. And yes, it can be… Overwhelming at times." He wouldn’t say annoying, because having that connection, even if it was far away, meant that he wasn’t alone.
At the explanation of the ocean, Diethelm smiles. It sounded like a type of feeling he’d wanted. And feeling that he was trying to grasp at. To try to follow. ”I suppose, then, you would have the idea of turtles, yes? That’s sort of what our old ones are like too. They’ve been around for quite some time, seen a great many thing and experience so much.” And he watches the other. ”Tell me more of the ocean, Destan?~” It’s now that he takes a small chance. ”I’d like to go there with you some day.”
“….So… theoretic’ly…” He starts slowly. “You could probably make whoever y’ connected to see whatever you want then t’ see, right? Even drive them nuts if you really want to. Not that ‘m accusin’ you of doin’ that, jus’ wonderin’. S’ got a lot of potential like that, you gotta admit.”
I mean, imagine how much you could mess with a guy if you could leave whispers in his head or alter his perception ever so slightly. Yeesh. Scary stuff.
He’s distracted in his eating it seems, steering away from the heavier meats in favour of the lighter things. But he’s enjoying the conversation so much he hardly notices.
“Turtles? I recon so. I mean, jus’ know what I know from m’ Origin; but there were a couple around. Old as fuck. Didn’t bother with us much though. Jus’ stuck t’ eatin’ jellyfish n’ swimming out t’ beaches t’ lay shit.”
He recalls them being nice enough to be around, yeah, but generally the two species didn’t really mingle, if at all.
“Hnn… Octopus were interestin though. Didn’t seem t’ like alotta us, but then again, they did kinda eat a lot of us. Still, there were a couple’a times we got the one up on them. But I guess we were fortunate enough fer there t’ be more f’ us then them, yaknow?” He replies, digging into memories that hadn’t been heavily scrutinised at all. Then he catches the end of the other guy’s words, and he looks at him, eyebrow raised and eyes slightly narrowed.
“…Huh. We’ll haveta see, won’t we?”
But it wouldn’t be so bad. Dunno how deep this guy could dive though. And he’s pretty sure if an undead entity hit the water there’d be fish n’ sharks on him faster than he could blink.
The idea of Destan having some sort of knowledge as to what happened months and months ago, tugs at Diethelm’s heart. Could he have prevented all of it from happening if he’d just asked? God, he hopes it wasn’t that simple. But Destan said he didn’t understand it, so maybe it wouldn’t have been helpful anyway. He breathes out gently.
"That’s right. Thoughts, ideas, projections." His hand waves about the air, this way and that. "To an extent." A gentle smile creeps up on his lips and he leans back into his chair, easing up and growing more relaxed. And he can see that Destan is too. "For the most part, yes. But… When they are far away, it’s hard to hear them. That’s why when Marcel is back at the bases, unless I am there also, I…" He shakes his head and furrows his brow. "I’ve only been this way for two decades. It’s still hard for me to project that far. But it seems to grow easier with time. Time gives us our strength, along with the blood. The older brood masters of my kind… Well I’ve heard rumors of them being able to find their kin across the world." He almost seems hopeful at this. "But I have only met… Less then a handful of the truly old ones of us."
In terms that Destan might better understand, he thinks of the Methuselah, the grand old vampires of the world, as being something ancient in the ocean. Turtles? Diethelm’s not up on his marine biology, but he knows that turtles live ages longer then crabs. He ponders this.
"Do you have memories of the ocean, Destan? I know yourself wouldn’t, but I mean those lingering types of memories?"
“Huh. I guess it’ll just be a waitin’ game fer th’ two of you huh?” He says. “But I guess that’s fine. I mean, you n’ him got a hellava long time t’ work on it I guess.”
Still, he wonders if it would be anoyyin’, bein’ connected to more than one person. Heck, he found it anoyyin’ when He and his Origin’s memories overlapped; but he guesses this is kinda different. Not like y’ getting their thoughts, just listening in. Still though, he wonders how it would work.
“So can y’ turn it off? Like, y’ connection n’ shit. ‘Cos I dunno about you, but it sounds anoyyin’ as shit t’ haveta deal with other people’s shit in y’ head all th’ time.” He shrugs. His wineglass is half gone by that time, surprisingly, so he sets it down before he drinks any more. Too much in such a short time was sure to get him fuckin’ drunk off his ass, after all.
“Th’ ocean? Heh, yeah.” He smiles fondly. “Not m’ own, but ya know, M’ Origin grew up in th’ ocean. From what he remembers, it was real nice, yankow? Weren’t easy nah, but it was real peaceful and real pretty n’ y’ just felt that was where you were s’pposed to be, ya know? Then again, we’re crabs so I guess it makes sence. Sure, m’ gettin’ secondary feelin’s about it, but I can only imagine what it musta been like firsthand.”
And he listens to Destan speak again. They’d only briefly spoken on the connection between them. The two mirror pieces. The metaphor causes him to gently smile and reflect on his own mental connections to his brood. Sure, he could be in their heads as much as they allowed him and vise versa, but Destan and Anatole seemed different.
"I see~." Anatole was another person that Diethelm had felt that he’d let down. That he’d left to time to, or to inactivity. Whatever it was, Diethelm wasn’t fully certain, he just felt overly disappointed in himself for it. Like he could have done more, but didn’t. It seems that Diethelm is not the master of time he would have liked to be.
He smiles gently.
"Do you see flashes of his experiments? Ideas of his?" It’s just curiosity that pushes him to ask, a wanting to learn how Destan works and how his body is taking the existence. "I share a slightly similar connection to my kind. The ones that are of my blood, as I have shared with the one that had made me. It’s uh…" How to explain the feeling? He searches for the right words. "I think it would be like… Your cluster, but… In our heads. Hmm…" He smiles in spite of his inability to explain the feelings, but tries anyway. "At times it can be over whelming, for sure."
“Hnn… sometimes yeah. Though when I was here th’ memories weren’t as strong, yaknow? But I def’nitely saw whatever it was he was workin’ on. N’ sometimes a string a’ numbers or a paragraph’ll pop int’ m’ recollection and I have no idea what it means.”
He wasn’t aware Anatole was that smart. Or at least, that he knew that much. Then again, he spent time with an Engineer at some point, if he remembered right.
“Ideas, feelin’s… Hn, not so much sensations but s’ close I guess? Like… when y’ gonna touch somethin’ hot y’ brain goes ‘yeah this shit’s gonna be hot’? I dunno ‘f that makes sence.”
It’s now he takes a sip of the wine offered. He finds it pleasant enough, but knows well enough not to drink too much too fast. He listens to the other in the meantime, thinking hey, we never done this before, have we? ‘S kinda nice actually.
And it really is.
But his words leave him looking confused.
“…In y’ heads?” He asks, wondering how the fuck that would even work. Was it possible? A closeness that is love but at the same time isn’t and a desire to protect, persevere and grow. Among other things. Other things that couldn’t explained in human terms with human words. “Does that mean ‘y mentally connected all up with Marcel then? Recon you could tell him not to be such a dumb shit?”
Listening to Destan talk in that tone makes it easier for himself. Almost as if a heavy stone is taken off of his chest. He could still be happy. Diethelm hadn’t crushed his happiness or the ability to be so. It’s relieving for the vampire. He leans an elbow down on the table, propping his chin up on his free hand, smiling like a teenager at Destan.
It was nice.
"Yeah that’s true. Ha ha~ Marcel." It’s at the mention of memories that Diethelm’s curiosity is piqued. "Hmm? I know that you had mentioned it before, but I would have thought after…" He hesitates for a moment, feeling almost sacrilegious speaking on such matters. "After Anatole had passed, that it would have stopped. I suppose not, huh?" His brow furrows upwards in an understanding manner. "It must be hard sometimes." He knows, at an extent, from his own mind’s experiences in reality and unreality.
"Hnn. Nah, ‘s like… I guess m’ head was makin’ up fer memories I didn’t have so it just kinda pulled everythin’ from him n’ dumped it in m’ head instead. S’ kinda stuck there now, yaknow? Kept doin’ it until I lost m’ link t’ this side. Didn’t start up again after that fer obvious reasons.”
He notes the man’s hesitation, and breifly reflects on the relationship his Origin and this guy had. It wasn’t a good one, to be sure, so he’s not quite sure if the guy hesitates because of that, or something else.
"It… well yeah, I ain’t gonna lie. But ‘m used to it. And it ain’t that bad havin’ his shit in m’ head sometimes yaknow. Even ‘f I don’t understand th’ more technical stuff.”
It made him feel less lonely, for one. And more connected with his Origin. Because heck, he still missed the guy and there was still an emptiness in his brain but it didn’t really hurt that bad anymore.
The idea of Marcel has always made Diethelm happy. For them growing apart, he thinks because of the vampirism and both of them settling into it, he still regards Marcel as one of his deepest friends. The idea of losing him sours his mouth, and the mention of him going off into the sun worries him immensely.
"He f-forgot?" He might show his worry on his face, and then he reels himself back in and takes a breath. "Ha~… Well then I’m thankful you were there to help him remember." And then he hazards a gentle, fleeting laugh, almost as chaste as the smile he’d given before.
"I remember, a very long time ago, when I had show him what tea was for the very first time. I made it sweeter then regular so that he might like it more." His face softens into a sort of peacefulness, his eyes lulling closed to the images of his memories. "And how I taught him how to speak and make sounds in his human form. Ha ha~.. Aaah~"
"I really dunno how he damn got this far really. Between you n’ m’ Origin y’ probably had y’ hands full."
He really worried about the guy sometimes. But as stupid as he was sometimes, he was also real lucky. So he guesses that kinda worked itself out.
"And nah, not like ‘m gonna let him of all people get hurt. Gimme a little more credit there guy.” He chuckles.
Because as much as he didn’t like the guy at first, after coming back there was a strange… well, something strange between the two of them. And nothin’ brings people together like loss, right? But they were sure as fuck closer now then they were before all that shit went down.
"…I got vague memories of that too yaknow. Sure, it ain’t mine; but ‘s there. ‘s kinda wierd yaknow? Before I couldn’t tell whose was whose n’ neither could he. Heck, even now I gotta think about it real hard before I figure who ‘s from n’ when."
Ah, the joys of shared memories.
"But yeah, those guys wouldn’ta adjusted so fast if not fer other people, yaknow?"
Small talk didn’t end them up further hurt. Maybe. Maybe the unwillingness to speak on something meaningful was an insult in itself, but maybe Diethelm just wanted to see Destan say something to him that wasn’t laced with hurt or mistrust.
Maybe this was the way to go. For now.
But he smiles at the reply, takes his wine glass and swirling the drink about it. The idea of Marcel makes his heart hurt out of missing him. They’d grown apart, Marcel spending time at The Industries again, as if that had been their true home all along. It might make him sad, but as long as Marcel found home somewhere, then Diethelm didn’t mind. Or didn’t choose to mind.
He takes a sip.
"Marcel always was like that." He remarks, smiling gently. "I’m glad you saw him. I assume the bases were the same as always, hmm? I haven’t been to them in quite some time."
“Yeh, he really has, hasn’t he?” he sighs, leaning back in his chair, relaxing now. Marcel was a safe topic, he thinks. They were both likeminded in their thoughts of him anyway. “But yeah. Same shit really. Nothin’ too diff’rent yaknow? But hey, a paychecks’ a paycheck. N’ it keeps us busy at least.”
And the distraction was quite welcome.
“Though, he’s still a fuckin’ idiot.” He muses fondly. “Yaknow he forgot he wasn’t too good with sunlight the other day. Had t’ drag him back inside n’ he was fine n’ shit n’ all he could say was ‘oops, sorry!’. Fuckin’ guy.”
Of course, he says that quite affectionately. Marcel was a bit of an idiot, but there wasn’t anything he couldn’t make up with his personality.